Saturday, 4 May 2013

May 4th

I have come to the realization that I really need to finish the risk calendar and then follow the program myself. Today I set myself an easy task for myself, volunteer for one hour at a craft show at the local library. Since I like craft shows and the library you would think the combination would be hard to beat and it was only for an hour. All I needed to do was make sure people were signing in and getting raffle tickets, simple for most people, for me not so much. Last night I started feeling afraid and while I tried to talk myself into still going and doing it, this morning I wrote an email telling them I would not be there. My head feels like it is stuffed with cotton wool and my body feels like it weights a ton. I know this is depression and that I could fight it if I chose but honestly it is just too much effort today. This is the war I fight nearly every day, were it not for Coco and my family I would probably sleep far more than I do now, just cause that is all I really feel like doing. I have my good days of course but this week I've been off nearly every day, its like some robot who knows what to do has taken over my body and left my mind whirling and stifled at the same time.

Photo of the day: In my cup is coffee, two sugars and two milk.

Double Double Coffee
And a look at a small section of my messy desk!


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