Monday, 3 June 2013

June 3: Post 100 yay me!

Photo Of The Day:  On my table: My problem is which table, I have one that serves as a desk, one that holds Ember's food and other things I need access to often, one that holds my craft stuff plus downstairs is a kitchen table. Do you have so many?

One of each except the kitchen table

Re-evaluate one long held belief each day:
I am worthless because I am a girl and girls can't do anything.
Where oh where does this come from? I do not know, I was raised in the 60's so maybe it had something to do with that, Even though women were allowed to vote starting in 1921 it seems the message was still women are inferior for a long time. I did some research at on Canadian Goverment to find that out. 

Then I decided to look up when Canada agreed to give Equal Human Rights to women. That was in 1981 so that explains why that is so strong a belief, I was 21 when human rights were given to women. Human rights like we were  a possession before that, actually I suppose we were, that seems odd to me sitting here 30 years later having had a women Mayor in this city for most of those years.

That I was also raised in a family where abuse was accepted as the norm. Yes I am talking about sexual abuse and to a lesser extent mental and physical cruelty were passively accepted. We simply did not talk about it or think about it. It is only recently that I was made aware that my brothers and sisters were abused by the same abuser as I was, though I suppose since he went after my daughter I should have known.

Anyway that is a topic for another day. So how do I square this in my head, you know I'm not sure. Is it possible to think one thing and accept it as true while knowing that it is not true? How do you deal with a conundrum like that?

I know that this is not true for other women so it should mean that it is not true for me either and yet there are times when I blame my being born a girl for a lot of my shit.  Because I am a Girl does a lot of stuff to help the young ones learn their value, I am thinking maybe I should look into that and see if there is anything there that can help a grown ass woman to find her value as well.

Value... it comes down to knowing your own value and I just realized I have no concept of my own value as a person, it is not something I ever really applied to me. I think I need to look into learning how to value myself. 

So so far I have looked at mindfulness and personal value. Well mindfulness at least personal value comes next. Check out the Mindfulness Page. Warning it is text heavy as I am just beginning my research. Later on I may try to pretty it up with some infographs and stuff.

Look for love in the right places
Accept that being loved begins and ends with you! It’s hard to receive love if you don’t love yourself! If you want love in your life, go to the mirror RIGHT NOW and say, “I will make the effort to be more loving to you, starting today!” 

I did it, it felt odd but I did it! I think I may make this part of my morning routine, to get the day started on a positive note.

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